attention twitter users: nobody cares

April 9, 2008
twitter sucks

If you are a twitter user, I warn you now, you may find this offensive.


Can anyone tell me what is so special about the twitter lifestyle? Are we that far up in our own asses that we really think people actually give a sugar about what we’re doing every minute of the day?

  • 7:00pm: Just joined twitter. Sweet. Now I can keep a log of every worthless thing that happens to me.
  • 7:01pm: I just realized that no one really cares about what I do, and if they do, they should really get a life.
  • 7:02pm: My last post on twitter. Now I can get back to actually living my life.

If you are one of these people who love updating your social circle on every petty thing that happens in your life, then perhaps you can share some insight as to why you think people actually care.

Don’t get me wrong, I try and embrace all I can with new technologies trends and whatnot, and I understand that twitter has been around for a long time (2006), but come on, why do you feel the need to jot every little meaningless detail of your life? I mean, who really cares about what you just finished eating, or what you just finished watching, or that your cat just took a piss on your favorite pair of jeans?!

Let me get this straight, you get on twitter, you get a bunch of your stupidest friends to join, then you can all share what you are doing with an up-to-the-minute relay of your meaningless life? Whatever happened to the telephone? or maybe even a visit to a friend? or an old-fashioned blog post?

Do you think people before twitter really cared about what their friends were doing at every given moment?

Am I alone on this? Can anyone understand why they feel the need to let their “social circle” know what is happening? If you are a twitter user, then maybe you can shed some light, because frankly I really don’t get it.



  1. I just stopped by your blog and thought I would say hello. I like your site design. Looking forward to reading more down the road.

    Robert Michel

    • I thought so too! I am also looking forward to it!

  2. Thank you Robert. I appreciate your comment and look forward to keep you entertained!

  3. I’m on Twitter. I think it’s really interesting to find out what people are up to, even regular, everyday stuff is nice to read. At this level, it’s best limited to people you actually know, but as none of my friends are interested in Twitter, I used it to keep in touch with people around the world quickly and easily. But that is only the tip of the iceberg.

    Twitter is great for passing on cool news/blog articles you’ve read, as well as things such as videos and pictures.

    And Twitter can often be the first to report news. Remember the San Fran mudslides? They were first reported by Twitter users, before any of the TV News stations or websites reported them. The Kent earthquake? Again, the news broke first on Twitter.

    The fact is, with the amount of attention it’s been getting, and the number of users (plus people using similar services such as Jaiku or Pownce), it’s clear that many people DO care.

    • your are a sad act please get a life

      • second that.

      • Third that.

      • Fourh,
        Fifth, and Sixth That

      • Fuck you guys that’s not what twitter is. Get one and you’ll see the truth faggot ass bitch

      • yawn

    • Fully, FULLY agree. It’s been 3 years since the original post, but in my opinion Twitter sucks and blows at the same time, more than ever. And this whole ‘Twitter made it possible for this news to emerge’ argument is bullshit. Without Twitter, news would have gone public anyway. Why? Because there are tons of other media. One phone call works a hell of a lot quicker than fumbling around with a text message, and I’m a pretty fast texter myself. Twitter is a cunning concept, yes… From a COMMERCIAL point of view! People who claim it’s about SOCIALIZING must be pretty desperate about life and what they feel they should do to become accepted by the ‘community’. Yes, I created a Twitter account just out of curiosity, just to find out that there is absolutely NOTHING there but a constant DIARRHEA of useless information. I find it so pathetic that I’d almost become friends with anyone who agrees with me.

  4. Don’t get me wrong Jamie; I think that the idea of twitter is amazing. Being able to provide valuable updates to a massive amount of people with a few lines of text is pretty cool. It is not so much a blog, it’s now known as a microblog. To be fair, this is exactly how I think twitter is for losers people with too much time on their hands:

    • Wanting attention from your social circle by filling them in on the details of your mundane life
    • Actively seeking what other people are doing in order to pass the time of your boring life
    • Actually being interested in other people’s ordinary daily routines is scary
    • Satisfying your ego by updating your circle with meaningless information

    Basically, I think that the average twitter users are self-satisfying ego-centric people who really feel the need to be accepted and heard by others and do so by posting little snippets of their life.

    Now, I understand that this isn’t everyones’ use for twitter. Here are some ways that it can actually benefit users and readers:

    • Promotion: what better way to advertise your business and create a public personality than to keep people interested with tidbits of useless banter
    • News-worthy: as you mentioned, Jamie, news happens everywhere, what better way to make a micro post from anywhere to the “world”. I could see a news caster of some sort finding this useful.
    • Live updates of events: if there was ever an event you missed, someone can give you full coverage without putting much effort.

    I’m sure there are other “useful” ways to use this service; I just can’t bring myself to use it.

    I think that the worst part about all of this is its simplicity. If only I knew to make a program that satisfies people’s ego… I could have written it in a weekend and made a fortune.

    • Great points. You certainly nailed it. In my own experience, I find a lot of so-called businesses or professionals who use Twitter, to be equally as irrelevant as regular Twitter users. Most of them are re-tweeting news, sending boring updates, and basically just chatting openly with other users. All in all, a major time wasting activity which contributes nothing of measurable value to their business and time.

      If you observe closely, Twitter is nothing more than a glorified public chat room with real time search. If people like using it, that’s fine. But what I hate is when all the Twitter advocates try to tell you that if you don’t like Twitter or don’t get results, then you obviously don’t understand it. Oh, most of us understand it. Just choose not to use it, that’s all.

  5. But the simplicity is part of it’s brilliance, and the reason WHY it’s been so huge. Take a look at MySpace and Facebook. What’s the number 1 reason people give for hating those services – too much crap. Twitter strips out everything that isn’t necessary and just gets down to ‘What are you doing?’. Personally I’m sick to death of getting App requests on FB and bulletins on MySpace.

    In the original post you mentioned that you might as well post a blog post. But that would either be an exceptionally short blog post (whereas ‘tweets’ are short by nature) or an incredible amount of filler.

    I’m not trying to push anyone into using the service, but I disagree with labeling the users as losers. If you think about it, you could argue that bloggers are all ego-centric people deluded enough to think that their opinions actually matter. But that wouldn’t be fair, either.

    Facebook and MySpace (the biggest social networks in the world) both have status updates, and that feature is regularly used on both those sites, so their millions of users care about what each other are up to. And even blogs have an element of sharing what you’ve been up to – so some bloggers care too.

    • 😀

  6. […] I was taking the piss out of people who call twitter users ‘losers’, ‘wankers’, ‘morons’, ‘sweaty lard balls’, ‘fags‘  & other bad things. […]

    • Oh yes it is lame, its for people that have nothing to ndo with there lifes, why don;t you try reading a book in tour spare time instead of telling people you don;t know stupid things like what time you last had a piss or what brand of coffee you drink.

  7. I agree with you on most levels.
    Twitter for the masses is indeed a bunch of useless crap. No-one cares.

    But for business/high profile people it can be a godsend, the simplicity of it all I mean.

    And no, I don’t read any Twitters and I don’t Twit myself. Like you said, where in earth would you get the time to do all that?

    It’s the same with FB imo.
    When you start having to much friends in your list, it feels like a second job to keep up on all the status-updates and messages etc…

  8. I find it odd that Twitterites have anything useless to pass on since too many are glued to their PC or Cell screens waiting on the next twitter to come by.

    Sample conversation:

    7:01 (CindyHasNoLife) Sitting her bored waiting for BobHasNoLife to get on.

    7:02 (CindyHasNoLife) Just passed gas

    7:03 (BobHasNoLife) Cool, gas…driving there now.

    7:04 (BobHasNoLife) Oh crap, just ran into another car.

    7:05 (CindyHasNoLife) Was it there fault? I know we were talking but did you notice if they pulled out in front of you.

    7:05 (BobHasNoLife) No I need a Blackberry so I can see it better while driving.

    7:06 (BobHasNoLife) Stupid cop trying to talk to me while I’m letting you guys know. You would think he could twitter the accident report.

    7:06 (BobHasNoLife) WTH, the cop is taking me away, says its my…

    7:07 – 9:04 Constant repeats of
    (CindyHasNoLife) BobHasNoLife are you there?

    I wouldn’t even go as far as saying it’s a great news tool. It makes it even easier to get out the WRONG information and start a Bad Ball of Crap rolling. The media puts out enough false info as it is and they are trained. We don’t need the latest Twitter News Spam Alert.

    Nice article by the way 🙂

    • I agree! We only get an unknown number of hours of life, and to waste it by being a Twit is ridiculous.

  9. I read about twitter and signed up (for about an hour!) What a worthless pile of shite – as you said: who friggin’ cares whether you just took a dump or drank a cup of coffee. These people need to find something useful to do with their lives.

  10. LOL, yeah Twitter sucks.

    Don’t tweet me bro.

  11. What’s Twitter?

    • Twitter is a service for people who like to twat. 🙂

  12. the only people i know (as in physically have met and spent a significant amount of time with) who use twitter are narcissists with an agenda.

    i take onboard all the points about simplicity and immediacy and i’m a lover of technology BUT… with twitter there is no interaction, there are no conversations. its simply a stream of unanswered statements. that is why it doesn’t work compared to facebook, myspace or even a conventional blog where you can leave comments (like this one).

    • “narcissists with an agenda.” Perfectly put Ron.

      • My thoughts exactly. To modify an old phrase, “It’s better to be suspected of being a fool, than to go on Twitter and remove all doubt.”

  13. I couldn’t agree more. From the start I knew it was worthless, and for nosy people….

  14. I have never seen the reason for twitter apart from it being used to stalk someone or just wanting attention.

  15. Don’t all those Twits have a life? I wish I had time to waste like they do.

  16. Haha, I totally agree. I don’t get those people who are posting stuff there.

    I actually think they are kinda sad people because they think that someone cares about that which just means that they don’t get enough attention IRL. But that’s just my point of view.

  17. Thank you. No really, I mean it, thank you. The truth is spoken. Twitter and its pathetic cousin, Facebook, provide a mouthpiece for monomaniacs who need to take a big bite of reality pie. We don’t care what you had for afternoon snack and we don’t care that you’re happy that the two reporters were released from North Korea thanks to President Clinton. And we don’t care about the difficulty of your putt on hole 15 – right this minute, no less – you, monomaniacal, sad person. Do we really need friends like this? Twitter — that’s embarrassing!

    • You said it like it is, Cousin Steve. 🙂

    • Cousin Stevie, you are a wise, wise man.
      The only thing worse than a Twitter egomaniac is a Facebook narcissist.

  18. thank you for blogging about something that needed to be said. twitter sucks. the people who use it suck more.

  19. i agree

  20. People are so in need of attention and validation they feel the need to post every little detail.

    I don’t really agree with the whole who cares thing. Other people who have no life care.

    7:08 made twitter account
    7:10 hey I’m on twitter
    7:11 just hung myself.

  21. […] Don’t think your any better you twitter twits… Fred’s got you covered too. […]

  22. Well, Truth is, some people do like twitters… and It’s like everything else in this world.

    Some people who do not like to socialize through the web will not find Twitter’s service usefull. Others, that have unwanted limitations (distance, work, etc) need to socialize in other ways…

    Take the example of somebody living abroad, in order to get in touch with family in a snap of a finger, they opoen twitter, or facebook, or linked in…

    Good Post

    • I agree that there are people who are cut off by distance and other factors, but how can they have meaningful communication with other people in tiny 140(?) character sentences which are on public display? That’s the kind of interaction which email is well suited to.

      Twitter is designed to enable someone who has no life at all to tell all their friends, “Just ate sandwich from new deli. Hated bits of hard grain in bread. Won’t go there again!!”. and irrelevant narcissistic rubbish like that.

  23. The medium of communication should not be blamed , it should be the user. As you put it some people would write, ““Just ate sandwich from new deli. Hated bits of hard grain in bread. Won’t go there again!!”.”, making twitter look bad. But digest this, an American reporter who was detained in Egypt updated this twitter to “arrested” just after they took him in a car. His friends noticed and immediately contacted the American embassy down there and they got him out of the mess. Therefore, it is not Twitter’s fault, it is yours and mine faults.

    • Twitter is primarily designed for people to constantly put little comments on display for everyone to read. A narcissist’s dream, to make themselves feel important.

      I agree that it can be used for conveying important information, but that’s not its primary purpose. The irrelevant throwaway comments vastly outweigh anything important which goes through there.

      It’s not your fault or the fault of others here, that Twitter is exactly what it was designed to be.

    • He couldn’t just text that he was arrested to someone? Was twitter really necessary?

  24. Whats almost up there with twitter is comment threads, some are useful but most are a waste of space such as YouTube comments.

  25. Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, IMing…all huge wastes of time and used by mostly boring losers with far too much time on their hands. Got no use for them or these times sinks.

  26. OMG! I was soooooo thinking the same thing. Twitter is so for losers! Who give a crap if you’re stuck in traffic or that you’re going out to shop. Tip: TRY ZOLOFT!

  27. I personally don’t tweet although I did sign up for an account a while ago just to see what it was like. The main theme of all these comments and other complaints is “no one cares about your mundane details.” This is repeated constantly and often with anger, as if a non-twitter user was sitting at work, reading their important email, when an intrusive “tweet” popped up on the screen, forcing them to read about some stranger’s toenail fungus. You have to purposely go out of your way to follow someone on Twitter! So if you follow someone, you more than likely do care about their mundane lives.

    Social networking isn’t all about narcissist’s feeding their massive egos. It’s about staying in touch. If 2 people would talk about a crappy sandwich one of them had if they were in the same room, why is it a big deal to tweet back and forth about it? It’s like a slow, drawn out conversation between people. Now, I will agree that a lot of the tweets I have read from people I know were not earth shattering news. They were actually kind of boring. This is not Twitter’s fault. Some of you have got to know people who are not the most intriguing persons to have a conversation with, regardless if it’s in back and forth emails, in person, or on a phone.

    I know I’m rambling but I have one more point. How people spend their free time is not anyone’s business. I play a lot video games and spend a lot of time on the internet. Some would say I have “no life” because of this. Yet I am healthy, happily married with a child on the way, have a successful job, great friends, and am very happy. If someone wants to tweet 50 times a day, who’s to judge? Just like you think tweeting is a waste of time, Twitter users might pick something you do as a waste. TO EACH HIS OWN. Sorry for shouting.

    Their are narcissists on Twitter, no doubt. The people who want complete strangers to follow them so they can read someone’s attempt at being witty and snarky regarding EVERYTHING, those people can crawl into a hole for all I care.

  28. i have the answer to almost everyting wrong these days… its like this…

    Nature always took care of eliminating the failures of every species, but we the stupid humans just had to corrupt nature by holding to our weak ones, taking care of the diseased ones, and we let them procreate, we let thoe mutated flawed genes to carry on,… so… no wonder the world is filled with mediocre ppl, the masses are ignorant fucks with no education… u must admit the majority of ppl are just idiots… this is the reason we see so much fucked up ppl everywhere..
    and this is the reason crap bands or crap movies are sometimes big hits, THE MASSES R IGNORANT FUCKS THAT WE PROTECTED FROM NATURAL SELECTION, nuff said

    • well said

  29. Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

  30. what happened to using your voice and having a verbal conversation with people and developing a real friendship. It’s not the same when your typing your thoughts on a computer, you can’t discover all the other qualities that go along with other people, such as appearance, emotions, facial expressions, smell, the sound of their voice, touch, what kind of sense of humour they have.. the list goes on. No computer generated social networking application will ever beat meeting someone in real life and building a relationship, and nothing should. If anything people should interact more in person, before everyone turns into nonsocial, hermit, shut-ins, glued to the computer. Also, what happened to having your privacy. Why do people feel the need to expose to the public what they do on a day to day basis. And if you use twitter for keeping up to date on breaking news or for important information updates, good luck swimming through tweets that twits post on there, I personally use email to contact clients, friends, and family when I have or want to receive important information and updates because I know that all my sent and received messages are going into a safe and secure inbox and outbox, without any interference of twitter fanatics.

    • Excellent post. I think it’s scary, the extent to which people are becoming mere extensions of the digital technology we’re totally surrounded by, and progressively losing their ability to communicate normally (face to face) with other living people.

      Everywhere you look, people have iPods jammed in their ears, cell phones up against their ears, and laptops/notebooks they can’t get away from. Twitter and its cousins like Facebook are just more symptoms of the same thing techno-dependence.

      Put all the Twits in a rural situation without any of their technology, and they’d be completely lost.

  31. Should I EVER be stupid enough to set up a Twatter account much less use the miserable service my son has explicit instructions to chop off all my digits & cauterize the nubs so that I can not continue to propogate whatever maelvolent disease of stupidity has taken up residence in my mind to others on the internet.

    Twitter: The threat is real. Vaccinate your mind with actual meaningful human interaction.

    • well put pottymouth twitter, facebook, my space and all pther related socil network sites are for sad acts who have no social life and spend half their lifes on a computer and the other half sleeping and masterbating.

  32. What a bunch of old farts you are

    • Go tweet your lame opinions to someone who cares, jerk. Oh wait, no one on Twitter cares about anyone else’s opinions but their own…
      Oh snap, biatch!!!

      • Well said!!

  33. My wife is becoming obsessed with Twitter and blogs. So much that she doesn’t really do anything else other than post tweets to complete strangers.

    • Yea, think i tweet banged her last week! she one hot tweeter!!

  34. I was using Twitter ’cause of celeb and his clever tweets. When he was not on tweeting then I followed a tv show and their cast and crew who tweeted regularly. The gossip mongers had to be followed also. I invited followers from around the world. A sweet addiction started but I found my self believing that someone actually cared and I started tweeting my worries, etc. Finally I got a gut feeling …No one Cares. I did meet some fellow fans from the tv show..we had some fun moments but other than that… I can watch a tv show without having to tell people I have. I’ve decided to forego Twitter and get some human friends…not Tweets bites. LOL.

    • Welcome back to the human race from being a Twitter zombie! 🙂

  35. Totally agree!!! I never felt the urge to join twitter. Facebook is ok in a way…to be connected to people, old school friends, college friends etc. But that too once in a while. When you feel like socializing – you should go out and socialize and when you dont – just dont!!!

  36. One of the biggest retorts by twitterer’s to the ‘Twitter bastardise’s communication’ argument, is the ‘you just don’t get it’. Thing is, most people do get it, they just don’t care for the inanity of it. I certainly don’t hate Twitter, but it is certainly a steaming cesspit of self aggrandising inanity that serves no purpose other than to make the author feel important.

    I’m trying a bit of a social experiment on Twitter (see here http://twitter.com/DumbProverbs ). Keep an eye on what happens 😉

  37. I certainly *do* hate Twitter and I’m sick of seeing references to it on nearly every web page I visit. Just another stupid internet fad for those with no life, sorta like iPods.

  38. […] admit, but I recently joined twitter. It wouldn’t be so bad, except for the fact I’ve shitted on it in the past. Why did I make the […]

    • Twitter = banal substitute for having a meaningful life and actual friends. Some of us prefer the real thing.

  39. Yeah, its for those who want to display themselves and bug other people on the phone! DAR!

  40. twitter is indeed for losers,
    get a life fools..

  41. […] love twitter. I wasn’t always a fan, but I caved. It’s a great source (for me specifically) to keep up with all the goodness that […]

  42. Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with family and old friends. It’s a great way to network as well. Twitter is lame as shit and it’s pathetic that people care that much about what everyone else is doing. L-A-M-E asses!!!!

  43. Exactly

  44. Old or not I had to say something, someone said IMing is a waste of time, not to people like me who have family in other countries. It’s cheaper to IM someone who is in Japan when I am in America than to call that person.

    IMing and Twitter should not be in the same category, IMing it’s actual conversation IMing unlike Twitter is private completely unless you go into a group session.Instant Messanger services are not social media, it’s instant private conversation.

    Twitter is a waste of time, Instant Messanger services are not (they save time actually).

    • I can’t disagree with that. Now that twiter’s no longer a brand-new internet phenomenon, I don’t see it getting mentioned as much as it was. We need a new ‘shiny object’ on the internet to grab everyone’s attention.

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    Thanks for the post -Chelsea

  46. “attention twitter users: nobody cares funbytebitstop” ended up
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  47. I personally have a tendency to go along with pretty much
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    Thank you for pretty much all the advice.Thanks for your time-Randi

  48. I’m with you – 100%. I meet people and they say, “Are you on Twitter – do you want to follow me?” I say no – why would I be? I’m not a celebrity or politician and I don’t care what celebrities or politicians have to say. I follow Annie Lennox on Facebook – that is more than enough.

    Who the hell follows @Walmart??

  49. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem along with your website in web explorer, may test this? IE still is the market chief and a big component of other folks will omit your wonderful writing because of this problem.

  50. Excellent article! Agree fully. So many idiots out there that need to tell the world every useless detail of their lives. Ironically though, I get to understand the mind’s of some people. Eg my bitchy sister is in the UK and in recruiting, and some of her female followers have no shame in stating that they hire people based on their gender rather than talent. It makes me realise now that biased situations isn`t just an illusion in my head!

  51. Awesome blog you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any community forums that cover the same topics
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